Living with a Depressive Parent: Long-Term Impact on Children
Published
By Liz Moran
The Longterm Psychological, Social and Emotional Impact on an individual
Parental depression is a significant public health concern that affects not only the individual experiencing the condition but also the emotional, psychological, and social development of their children. Depression is a common mental health disorder characterised by persistent sadness, loss of interest in daily activities, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, and difficulty concentrating (American Psychiatric Association, 2022). When a parent experiences depression, their ability to provide consistent emotional support, maintain routines, and engage positively with their children may be impaired. Children who grow up in households where one or both parents' experience depression are at increased risk of developing emotional, behavioural, and interpersonal difficulties that may persist into adulthood.
Psychological and Emotional Impact on Children
Children living with a depressive parent frequently experience emotional distress due to the unpredictability and emotional absence associated with the illness. They may feel confused, rejected, anxious, or responsible for their parent's unhappiness. Children may internalise feelings of guilt, anxiety, and helplessness while attempting to understand or cope with a parent’s illness.
Some children also experience parentification, where they assume adult responsibilities within the household. They may care for younger siblings, manage household tasks, or provide emotional support to the depressed parent. While these responsibilities may promote maturity in some cases, excessive caregiving can interfere with healthy emotional development and contribute to stress and burnout.
Research demonstrates that children of parents with depression are at significantly greater risk of developing depression, anxiety disorders, low self-esteem, and behavioural problems than children whose parents do not experience mental illness (Beardslee et al., 2011). This increased vulnerability results from a combination of genetic predisposition and environmental influences such as chronic stress, reduced parental responsiveness, and family conflict.
Social, Educational and Occupational Consequences
The effects of parental depression can often extend beyond the home into children's educational and social lives.
Social relationships can be affected as children withdraw from friendships because they feel embarrassed about their home situation or fear being judged by others. The stigma surrounding mental illness may discourage children from discussing their experiences or seeking support from teachers and peers, increasing feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Growing up with parental depression may influence educational achievement and employment outcomes. Children may experience increased school absenteeism or struggle to participate fully in classroom activities due to concerns about their parent's wellbeing. Emotional distress and concentration difficulties may further reduce academic performance.
Long-term studies suggest that these early challenges can contribute to lower educational attainment, reduced career opportunities, and financial instability in adulthood (Weissman et al., 2006). Furthermore, persistent mental health difficulties may interfere with workplace performance, job satisfaction, and overall quality of life.
Attachment and Interpersonal Relationships
Parental depression can disrupt the development of secure attachment during early childhood. According to attachment theory, children develop emotional security through consistent, responsive caregiving (Bowlby, 1988). Depression may reduce a parent’s emotional availability, making it difficult for children to feel safe, valued, and understood.
As adults, individuals who experienced parental depression may struggle with trust, emotional intimacy, and relationship stability. They may develop insecure attachment styles characterised by fear of abandonment, emotional withdrawal, or excessive dependence on others (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016). These patterns can affect friendships, romantic relationships, and parenting behaviours, sometimes perpetuating cycles of emotional difficulty across generations.
Implications for Practice
Living with parental depression during childhood can have profound and lasting effects on emotional wellbeing, interpersonal relationships, educational achievement, and adult mental health. Adults who grew up with a parent experiencing depression often present with complex psychological, emotional, and interpersonal difficulties that can persist into adulthood.
A trauma-informed approach is essential when working with adults raised by a depressive parent. Trauma-informed care recognises that exposure to chronic emotional unavailability, inconsistent caregiving, or parentification may have long-term effects on emotional regulation, self-esteem, and interpersonal relationships. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms, therapists should understand behaviours within the context of past experiences while prioritising emotional safety, trust, collaboration, empowerment, and cultural sensitivity (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2014).
Attachment theory also has significant implications for practice. Adults raised by depressed parents may develop insecure attachment styles characterised by fear of rejection, difficulties trusting others, emotional dependence, or avoidance of intimacy. Therapeutic interventions that provide consistent, empathic, and reliable relationships can help individuals develop healthier interpersonal patterns and improve emotional regulation (Bowlby, 1988).
Therapists should also assess for depression, anxiety, complex trauma symptoms, substance misuse, and relationship difficulties, as these conditions occur more frequently among adults exposed to parental depression during childhood (Goodman & Gotlib, 2002). Early identification allows appropriate referral and intervention before difficulties become more severe.
Evidence-based interventions such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Trauma-focused Therapies, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and interpersonal psychotherapy have demonstrated effectiveness in addressing depression, anxiety, maladaptive beliefs, and emotional regulation difficulties. CBT can assist individuals in identifying and challenging negative core beliefs developed during childhood, such as feelings of worthlessness, excessive responsibility, or self-blame. Where trauma symptoms are prominent, trauma-focused approaches may be more appropriate to address unresolved emotional experiences.
It is important for therapists to recognise the impact of parentification. Adults who assumed caregiving responsibilities during childhood often struggle with setting boundaries, prioritising their own needs, or maintaining balanced relationships. Therapy should support clients in recognising these patterns, developing assertiveness skills, and reducing excessive feelings of responsibility for others.
Psychoeducation represents another important intervention. Helping clients understand the nature of depression, attachment, trauma, and resilience can reduce self-blame and normalise many of their emotional responses. Increased understanding often promotes self-compassion and facilitates recovery.
Where appropriate, therapists should encourage the development of protective factors, including supportive social networks, healthy relationships, self-care practices, and community engagement. Strengths-based practice enables clients to recognise resilience developed through adversity while building confidence in their capacity for recovery.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR). American Psychiatric Publishing.
Beardslee, W. R., Gladstone, T. R. G., & O'Connor, E. E. (2011). Developmental risk of depression: Experience matters. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 20(2), 261–278.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.
Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., Williamson, D. F., Spitz, A. M., Edwards, V., Koss, M. P., & Marks, J. S. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245–258.
Goodman, S. H., & Gotlib, I. H. (2002). Children of depressed parents: Mechanisms of risk and implications for treatment. American Psychological Association.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2014). SAMHSA's concept of trauma and guidance for a trauma-informed approach (HHS Publication No. SMA14-4884).
Weissman, M. M., Pilowsky, D. J., Wickramaratne, P. J., et al. (2006). Remissions in maternal depression and child psychopathology: A STAR*D-child report. JAMA, 295(12,13).
Ready to take the first step toward lasting recovery?